a.c.b. (hipstraights) wrote,

  • Music:

would the real ketchup please stand up?

could someone please explain to me why hellman's mayonnaise seems to be leading the television/internet advertising charge for the "real food" movement?  
first, when did mayonnaise become food?  are we considering condiments food now?  so the ketchup and water mixture I used to "cook up" as a kid and try to make my friends eat - that constituted as an actual entree, or at least as a first course? 
second, does it seem strange to anyone else that hellman's mayonnaise is using the fact that their product is nothing but whole eggs and pure oil to tout themselves as a health food?  yes, our product could very possibly give you high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes if eaten on a consistent basis, but it's all natural.  it's real food.


with all of the wife/child murders lately, I think the world has gone a little mad.  or at least the married world?  
gentlemen: a plea.  if, when contemplating a spouse and a future family, settling down somewhere and supporting said family, and spending the rest of your life with said spouse and family, any unsettling feelings of caginess and ensuing thoughts of homicide occur, do not get married.  some people aren't meant to marry and have children.  that's fine.  that's what escort services and/or girlfriends/boyfriends with really low expectations are for.

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